My Story with PMS – and How I Stopped Being Surprised by Myself Every Month

It was about six years ago. Freshly out of a relationship, suddenly single again – and my life changed fundamentally in a short space of time. Quiet weekends turned into dates, alcohol, late nights out. Then I moved into a significantly more demanding job. My diet was sometimes okay, sometimes a disaster. I barely exercised at first, then suddenly a lot – intense HIIT sessions, no training plan, no real listening to my body.

In short: my life was pretty all over the place. And honestly? I was fine with it. I enjoyed the freedom.

But there was this one thing that stubbornly stuck around: my PMS. Sometimes barely noticeable, sometimes so intense it completely knocked me over. And every month, I was somehow surprised by it again – as if I'd forgotten what happened the last time.

Eventually, I started recognising a pattern. Intense emotionality, impulsivity, a rage that would rise in the days before my period and that I could barely understand myself. It affected my new relationship, my family – but what bothered me most was how it made me feel about myself. That sense of powerlessness. The feeling that there was nothing I could do.

Then came the moment that changed everything.

A major argument with my boyfriend – and I watched myself from the outside, like a bird's-eye view. I could see myself reacting, knew exactly what was happening, and still couldn't stop it. That was the moment I'd had enough. I didn't want to just accept this anymore.

So I started searching.

First in Reddit forums and YouTube videos – from self-proclaimed experts and actual ones alike. I found a PMDD support association in Germany and joined some self-help sessions. The exchange was valuable, but sharing stories of suffering didn't really move me forward. I wanted answers.

So I went a level deeper: real literature, scientific studies. Women's health remains shockingly under-researched – something that urgently needs to change. But there were findings. And much of it aligned with what women in online communities had already been sharing with each other for years.

The most important thing I understood: I can actually do something about this.

I started experimenting. Supplements, lifestyle adjustments, meticulous symptom tracking. I immersed myself in understanding the hormonal system – how oestrogen, progesterone and cortisol interact, what influences my cycle, what I actually have the power to change. Over about six to nine months, I found an approach that felt right for me – one I could also sustain long-term.

During this time, I finally got an appointment at the PMS clinic at the University Hospital Zurich. When the doctor asked what had brought me in, I told her about my research and the steps I'd taken. Her response: "That's great – if it's working for you, keep doing exactly that."

That was my final confirmation that I was on the right path.

Today – two years on – my life, my relationship, my body all feel fundamentally different. Not perfect. But I'm no longer at the mercy of my own cycle. I understand what's happening inside me. And I have tools that actually work.

This knowledge, this path – I want to share it with other women. Not as an expert talking down from above. But as someone who searched, experimented and found her way.

That's exactly why Fem. exists.